I totally agree with you. It is hard to give when you know the person does not realize all the work and cost that goes into making a quilt.
As has been said in previous posts, you just have to let go and hope they will use the quilt, but also respect your work. That is hard.
Made a quilt for my granddaughter for Christmas and I know that it will not be taken care of. I am trying to forget! My grandsons on DH's side asked for one too and I did not commit - that family does not take care of anything! My daughter has 4 boys too and I will not make them anything large either. Have made one for my oldest grandson and he has gone back to live with his father, so I have not sent it to him yet. I may just save it for when he graduates from High School!