we all talk about this off and on, we make a special quilt for a special person and the person ooohs and ahhhhhhhs over it then hides it ...never to be seen again.
the first one i made for my mom, an appliqued teapot quilt...she would not use, i told her i made it for your bed mom, use the quilt mom, i'm going to just take it back if you don't like it mom...
when i would stop by she would run down the hall get the quilt bring it out and drape it over something ...to show...then she would put it away again. well 5 years went by and i made her a second quilt...thinking maybe she will use it if she has two...
she had broke her hip, i went in cleaned her room washed her bedding and put the new quilt on her bed for when she returned home from the hospital; thinking when she saw how good it looked on the bed...
she couldn't get into that bed...with that quilt on it...something might happen to it....so;
the teapot went on the bed (FINALLY!) so, i guess i just have to 'rotate' them every few years :thumbup:
kids are the opposite...mom wants to save a quilt, the kids keep getting them back out...they know what they are for :)

This doesn't take the sting away... but I do understand where you're coming from!

I'm sorry; it's so disappointing and upsetting when you invest so much of yourself in a gift, and the recipient just doesn't love it or use it the way you would have liked.

It's kind of like raising kids, isn't it? You invest all this love and... well, the response is ... variable.

Hopefully you enjoyed the process of creating the quilt. I guess we have to take our joy from that. Anything extra is a wonderful bonus.

:lol: I love the idea of rotating the quilts. I'm with you 100% - when I make a quilt for someone, I expect it to be used. I carefully tie off all thread ends and bury the knots and a little extra thread inside so the knots don't come loose. This way they can stand lots of washing.

Wall hangings on the other hand are different. I don't always wash fabrics used in wall hangings and they are not meant for repeated washings.

Bed quilts can definitely take lots of washings and lots of use. :)

I slaved over a drunkard's path for my MIL for Xmas a few years ago - she also refuses to put it on the bed - but since FIL has a very serious incontinence problem, I can't blame her!

Perhaps your mom is of the AGE of the depression and they save everything...

It's not like she doesn't like it - she just doesn't want to use it and 'ruin it' - she wants to 'save it'.

My mother-in-law was like that. She kept "nice" things in the closet. She took the "good" bedspread off the bed before sleeping in the bed, and wouldn't allow anyone to sit on it. It's a very old-fashioned value.

My joy is in the making/giving. It's up to the recipient to get their own joy in recieiving/using/storing/whatever. It can be disappointing if it's not used the way you intended, but that's just the glory of our differences.

I'm glad my DM isn't like that. Yes, my DM quilts too, in fact she's the one that got me ADDICTED. I made a special quilt for her and she proudly has it on the bed every day. She also has a dear friend that threatens to "steal" , I mean "borrow" the quilt when they're back up north for the summers,lol!!! They have each others house keys and at least she'd know where it was.

I think your mom wanted to save it cause it was special, YOU made it. I have several my mother painstakingly hand embroidered every block and the thought of using them scares me. Things wear out and then they have to be thrown out. I have such an animal with the first one she made me. It is about worn out the other two have not been used, wrapped in special tissue paper and put away, My mother has since left this world and will never make another one, I would be so upset if i wore out the other two. They mean that much to me cause she made them. If special company are coming i then put them on the bed to display. Maybe your mom feels that way too.

I was thinking the same thing!! I made my parents a 50th anniversary quilt. They flipped over it- all the signature blocks etc.
Well I put it on my Dad who was watching TV and was always cold. My Mom snatched it up and said "He'll ruin it". HUH????
But he made her a beautiful ladder-type thing to display it on.
Oh well............... I have to admit it looks beautiful in their dining room and I know it is loved. But that's about as used as it's ever going to get ! LOL