what do you say when you give a gift, and reciepiant says
 

Wow, it looks professional.
Or worse when someone gives you yuccky fab, for you to ...do something with.
And its polyester or worse. If i dont say something i look ungrateful, or like a snob, i dont want anymore of this stuff.
help

Hi Lynn - hope you're feeling well. I have had someone say 'this looks like a REAL QUILTER did this. I was stunned! But I caught my tongue and said "I AM A REAL QUILTER!! What? Did you think I'm just playing here?" People just don't put their brain in gear before they open their mouths sometimes....

When someone says "it looks professional" I take it as meaning "it does not look dorky homemade". Some just don't know how to compliment a quilter.
As far as getting some pretty awful fabrics.... I will say "I can't use this right now, but I know someone who can, if thats OK with you?" and then redonate it to Good Will.

I drop what I don't want off at goodwill. I understand what you mean, all kinds of fabric and most of the time it is not anything I can use or want. I don't mind polyester, because they make such warm quilts. On my to do list. I have had nothing but wondful compliments so far with my quilts . Be interesting to see what others say. I guess I would say, "thank you but I just don't need anymore fabric right now,.

This is what I do with all the crap. Maybe someone can use it.

I hate when I send my quilt out to Grandaughter and never get a Thank You! Was it that bad????

I think I would fall over if I got a thank you note from any of my nieces or their children. Guess that isn't considered important anymore. Don't take it as a critique of your work.

I just say...Gee, Thanks for thinking of me, but if I bring home anymore fabric, my husband will have a fit! (which is true!) I don't offer to take it. If they ask if I know anyone who might like it, I suggest they donate it to Goodwill.

I have never had anything like that happen to me. Hard to say what might pop out of my mouth if it were to happen.

And if i take it i hear, i gave you fabric,dont be ungrateful
Ohhh, its something i tfy to avoid

I was tired of being a dumping ground...I now say as politely as I can that I only quilt with 100%cotton. I recently had someone at work try to give me the corners from fleece blankets she was cutting. So I could make something and give back to her. I tried to be nice, none of them were square and I just don't like sewing with fleece. I knew if I took it it would just sit here so I flat out SAid no, I won't sew on fleece. She kept putting blocks together to show me, I didn't cave like I used to.

I can find uses for ugly prints and for double knits. So, "thank you" works.

As for the "professional" comment, I'd simply say I've worked long and hard for my work to appear professional. Thanks for the compliment.

(unless "professional" means store bought--------------then they'd better be calling for help cause I'm gonna break some knees! j/k)

Since I do mug rugs and pot holders and such-------fleece pieces and double knits and all sorts of scraps work. (quite obvious if you look at my stashe!)

tartan has it right

I hve a church member wanting to give me poly fabrics and I graciously told her that I cannot use it for quilting and thanked her anyway. I don't want to accept it since I know I will not use it at all.

A friend had a very elderly man give her bags of fabric from his deceased wife. She graciously accepted it and we tried to figure out if there was any way we could use it. It was just too dirty and we could not think of anything. However, we made an old man happy to think that her fabric went to a good cause.

Sometimes it is just easier to accept the donation.

We decided this year to start accepting donations for the guild's charm shop 24 months ahead of time. That way, when members are finished with projects or cleaning closets, they have somewhere to donate right away. We all know what happens when things are "lost" in the house or just too messy to get to when the charm shop starts asking for donations. Hopefully, this will gather even more donations and we can sort, measure, cut earlier and with less pressure.

She is just being a granddaughter....my niece (21) and nephew (18) never acknowledge their gifts either. Lots of adults don't either too! I wonder if tey will notice it when i don't send their gifts this year. ......hmmmm...
Sandy

I know gals who love to hit the resale shops for fabric, Not a bad thing! It is a great place to donate to.
Sandy

If someone offers me fabric...
I try to figure out if they hope to see it turned into something OR if they just want to pass it on.
Generally, they just want it gone from their house. So, I say "thank you, if I can't find a use for it, I know people that can." That way, I'm not committing to me actually using it. AND, I do find people that want/need it.

As for the "it looks professional"... I would take that as a compliment and leave it at that.

I've put many a pound of "dirty" fabric or smelly fabric in my washer-------------and had great clean fabric when I was done.

It is a sad commentary on the times. Parents don't teach their children manners anymore. I'm not that old (my 27 yr old daughter might think otherwise, lol), but I was taught to always send a thank you note. I taught my daughter to do the same. In my opinion, an email is not sufficient and a text is definitely not appropriate. I don't care how much technology advances, there is no excuse for thoughtless behavior.

I would just say "Thank You" to the "It looks professional" comment.

As far as the fabric goes - that depends to a certain extent on the circumstances that come with it.

I've learned that it's a good idea to take a look at it before accepting it (when possible).

The "If I can't (won't) use it, is it okay if I pass it on?" comment could be very useful!

Hi Sonja,

My comment below is not meant as a personal flame, but another opinion not often expressed here. I was also raised to write a thank you note, but communication options have changed.

I was at a workshop a year ago on Working with First Nation Elders. It puts the idea of what is appropriate into a cultural context. In the Coast Salish community if something is important, the information must be passed orally face to face, second would be a phone call,the very last would be written information.

Yet in a Eurocentric world we discredit a thank you, given orally, in person or by phone and feel that only a hand written note is acceptable.

We have so many more ways to communicate that in my mind are as acceptable as a hand written note. We are not living 100 years ago when a written note was the only option, let alone the only acceptable option.

On Christmas Day my kids send email thank yous with photos of them with their gifts to the overseas grandparents. I feel that is just as acceptable as sitting them down with a pen and paper to hand write a thank you note, then posting it to arrive a week or more after the holidays.

I am amazed at how many people never acknowledge gifts sent and when it is a quilt made especially for them, it is more than hurtful. My son and his wife are both part of that group. I even write long notes telling how I developed their special quilt, and nothing is acknowledged. I think good manners are slowly dying sadly.

No Thank you, no gift again, no matter who you are in the family. It's the right thing to do no matter if it is something you want to do or not.

This is how I feel. Through Project Linus, I have received tons of donations of fabric, and most of it I pass on. Sometimes it goes to other charities to use, if it's not suitable for kids' quilts, and sometimes it goes to Goodwill or something similar. I once went to a yard sale where an older woman with Alzheimers had hand cut thousands of 5" squares...kept her hands busy. That's just one place some of that unsuitable fabric can end up and still do good.

Plus, I know how hard it is to part with your stash, so I am always very grateful to the giver and then do with it what is best.

great post!

I think that it would only be a problem if they were expecting to see a finished project made out of what they gave you. It can't always happen. Iv' received a couple of really nice things this way, so it isn't always a bad thing.

I can relate to people asking if you want to do sewing or mending for them. I always turn this down even if they are offering to pay me and they usually aren't. To me quilting/sewing is a hobby that I do not want to turn into a job. If they don't want to do their own mending because they don't think it's fun, why do they think it would be fun for me?

Have a branch of in-laws who don't do "Thank you" and rarely feed-back. BUT they will do anything to help you out and their door is always open. It's cultural. I would like to know if the item is suitable/to their taste but I know it's not their 'thing.'

Since I upcycle I am happy to take donations and have no problem sorting for use. I, too, thank the giver and assure them that what I cannot use will travel on to the next level, lol. Since I discovered how much fabric is eaten up crocheting rag rugs, including things that I would never consider putting in a quilt, the worn, the uglies and the polyester blends easily find a home. We have old-time rug weavers in the area who are glad of useable yardage, etc. I LIKE people who want to recycle.....even when I'm the sorting center....and I live in a big, ol' house with enough room.

My Mom used to make 'rag rugs' out of yardage - they were beautiful -

She learned early on to NOT take other people's 'stuff' - (there were two exceptions that I know of - and she totally reworked what she received )

Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. Gave me a new point of view

That is better than my FIL's comment after I gave him a quilt last Christmas--"Save your money and time and get one from WalMart next time". Of course, that will be the only quilt he will get from me!!! Earlier this year, I worked really hard on a special quilt for my mom's birthday and she didn't even fully unfold it to look at it when I gave it to her a few months ago. She just informed me last week that the cat has claimed the quilt for itself. Wow, that was not good to hear. I really make these for the fun of the process so I have to keep that in mind, but I won't be giving any more away as gifts. I don't have gift receipients that would appreciate them.

I've done that, too, but last time wound up throwing it out anyway. Even after washing, the fabric smelled like CAT URINE!

My view is that once I've given a quilt to someone, it is theirs to use or abuse.

Seems to me that the cat might have better taste in quilts than your Mom! (Lol)

Your FIL may be one of those folks who doesn't like people showing him any kind of special attention or who doesn't know how to say thank you. Sad for him, and, in this case, sad for you.

cathyvv, you have completely nailed my FIL 100%. You must be very intuitive about people and their personalities. He is quite generous but hates to receive anything from anyone, even just a thanks for his generousity.

Sorry to hear that you did that. There are products available that will get the smell out.

I hear you lynnie and I feel your pain. Remember the movie Fiddler on the Roof? I talk in the second person sometimes to my family. (Kinda like her made up dreams) I mention how so and so had this happen to them when presenting a quilt they had made. Then I say something about I can't believe how terrible that was. Oh I go on and on. LOL...

That helps them to understand that I value my work and they should too. I do a ton of charity sewing for the diabetic kids silent auction and there are so many people out there that just don't get the money, hours and labor it takes to make something look professional.

The thing is, the "professionals" work with two hands just like us. We don't have the equipment they have, but, dang it, we sure can make something beautiful without all that, huh?

As for the fabric, I wouldn't hurt thier feelings. They thought of me and made the effort to bring it to me. But.. I would, just like so many others, donate it for someone else to enjoy.

The worst one yet was when a dear lady made a beautiful quilt for her granddaughter's wedding gift. Her granddaughter said she didn't like it & would rather have cash. Taken aback, this wonderful quilter donated it as the grand prize for our annual quilt raffle. She died just before the granddaughter's wedding. The girl then had the audacity to ask the guild to give it to her. The raffle winner loved it and happily and proudly displays it in her home on her bed.

Different strokes for different folks. I view thank you notes as something you send when you can't communicate directly with the giver. I really don't like getting them unless I mailed a gift to someone and need to know it arrived. If a family member I made a quilt for sent me one I would be hurt that we weren't close enough for them to take the time to call me and tell me thank you.