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Thread: what do you say when you give a gift, and reciepiant says

  1. #1
    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    what do you say when you give a gift, and reciepiant says

    Wow, it looks professional.
    Or worse when someone gives you yuccky fab, for you to ...do something with.
    And its polyester or worse. If i dont say something i look ungrateful, or like a snob, i dont want anymore of this stuff.
    help

  2. #2
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    Hi Lynn - hope you're feeling well. I have had someone say 'this looks like a REAL QUILTER did this. I was stunned! But I caught my tongue and said "I AM A REAL QUILTER!! What? Did you think I'm just playing here?" People just don't put their brain in gear before they open their mouths sometimes....

  3. #3
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    Well if they say it looks professional, that 's a compliment and I say "thank-you". If anyone gives me stuff I don't want or need, again I say thank-you and donate it to a charity shop.

  4. #4
    Super Member Lori S's Avatar
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    When someone says "it looks professional" I take it as meaning "it does not look dorky homemade". Some just don't know how to compliment a quilter.
    As far as getting some pretty awful fabrics.... I will say "I can't use this right now, but I know someone who can, if thats OK with you?" and then redonate it to Good Will.

  5. #5
    Super Member deedum's Avatar
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    I drop what I don't want off at goodwill. I understand what you mean, all kinds of fabric and most of the time it is not anything I can use or want. I don't mind polyester, because they make such warm quilts. On my to do list. I have had nothing but wondful compliments so far with my quilts . Be interesting to see what others say. I guess I would say, "thank you but I just don't need anymore fabric right now,.

  6. #6
    Super Member sewingsuz's Avatar
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    This is what I do with all the crap. Maybe someone can use it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tartan View Post
    Well if they say it looks professional, that 's a compliment and I say "thank-you". If anyone gives me stuff I don't want or need, again I say thank-you and donate it to a charity shop.
    Suzanne
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  7. #7
    Super Member sewingsuz's Avatar
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    I hate when I send my quilt out to Grandaughter and never get a Thank You! Was it that bad????
    Suzanne
    Asking a seamstress to mend is like asking Picasso to paint your garage.

  8. #8
    Super Member pattypurple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sewingsuz View Post
    I hate when I send my quilt out to Grandaughter and never get a Thank You! Was it that bad????
    I think I would fall over if I got a thank you note from any of my nieces or their children. Guess that isn't considered important anymore. Don't take it as a critique of your work.
    I Quilt Therefore I Am

    Pat

  9. #9
    SEW
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    I just say...Gee, Thanks for thinking of me, but if I bring home anymore fabric, my husband will have a fit! (which is true!) I don't offer to take it. If they ask if I know anyone who might like it, I suggest they donate it to Goodwill.

  10. #10
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    I have never had anything like that happen to me. Hard to say what might pop out of my mouth if it were to happen.
    Another Phyllis
    This life is the only one you get - enjoy it before you lose it.

  11. #11
    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    And if i take it i hear, i gave you fabric,dont be ungrateful
    Ohhh, its something i tfy to avoid

  12. #12
    Super Member Crqltr's Avatar
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    I was tired of being a dumping ground...I now say as politely as I can that I only quilt with 100%cotton. I recently had someone at work try to give me the corners from fleece blankets she was cutting. So I could make something and give back to her. I tried to be nice, none of them were square and I just don't like sewing with fleece. I knew if I took it it would just sit here so I flat out SAid no, I won't sew on fleece. She kept putting blocks together to show me, I didn't cave like I used to.

  13. #13
    Super Member GrannieAnnie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lynnie View Post
    Wow, it looks professional.
    Or worse when someone gives you yuccky fab, for you to ...do something with.
    And its polyester or worse. If i dont say something i look ungrateful, or like a snob, i dont want anymore of this stuff.
    help
    I can find uses for ugly prints and for double knits. So, "thank you" works.

    As for the "professional" comment, I'd simply say I've worked long and hard for my work to appear professional. Thanks for the compliment.

    (unless "professional" means store bought--------------then they'd better be calling for help cause I'm gonna break some knees! j/k)
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  14. #14
    Super Member GrannieAnnie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crqltr View Post
    I was tired of being a dumping ground...I now say as politely as I can that I only quilt with 100%cotton. I recently had someone at work try to give me the corners from fleece blankets she was cutting. So I could make something and give back to her. I tried to be nice, none of them were square and I just don't like sewing with fleece. I knew if I took it it would just sit here so I flat out SAid no, I won't sew on fleece. She kept putting blocks together to show me, I didn't cave like I used to.

    Since I do mug rugs and pot holders and such-------fleece pieces and double knits and all sorts of scraps work. (quite obvious if you look at my stashe!)
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    Super Member jemma's Avatar
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    tartan has it right

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    I hve a church member wanting to give me poly fabrics and I graciously told her that I cannot use it for quilting and thanked her anyway. I don't want to accept it since I know I will not use it at all.

  17. #17
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    A friend had a very elderly man give her bags of fabric from his deceased wife. She graciously accepted it and we tried to figure out if there was any way we could use it. It was just too dirty and we could not think of anything. However, we made an old man happy to think that her fabric went to a good cause.

    Sometimes it is just easier to accept the donation.

    We decided this year to start accepting donations for the guild's charm shop 24 months ahead of time. That way, when members are finished with projects or cleaning closets, they have somewhere to donate right away. We all know what happens when things are "lost" in the house or just too messy to get to when the charm shop starts asking for donations. Hopefully, this will gather even more donations and we can sort, measure, cut earlier and with less pressure.

  18. #18
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sewingsuz View Post
    I hate when I send my quilt out to Grandaughter and never get a Thank You! Was it that bad????
    She is just being a granddaughter....my niece (21) and nephew (18) never acknowledge their gifts either. Lots of adults don't either too! I wonder if tey will notice it when i don't send their gifts this year. ......hmmmm...
    Sandy
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  19. #19
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SEW View Post
    I just say...Gee, Thanks for thinking of me, but if I bring home anymore fabric, my husband will have a fit! (which is true!) I don't offer to take it. If they ask if I know anyone who might like it, I suggest they donate it to Goodwill.
    I know gals who love to hit the resale shops for fabric, Not a bad thing! It is a great place to donate to.
    Sandy
    Sandygirl

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  20. #20
    Super Member HillCountryGal's Avatar
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    If someone offers me fabric...
    I try to figure out if they hope to see it turned into something OR if they just want to pass it on.
    Generally, they just want it gone from their house. So, I say "thank you, if I can't find a use for it, I know people that can." That way, I'm not committing to me actually using it. AND, I do find people that want/need it.

    As for the "it looks professional"... I would take that as a compliment and leave it at that.

  21. #21
    Super Member GrannieAnnie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
    A friend had a very elderly man give her bags of fabric from his deceased wife. She graciously accepted it and we tried to figure out if there was any way we could use it. It was just too dirty and we could not think of anything. However, we made an old man happy to think that her fabric went to a good cause.

    Sometimes it is just easier to accept the donation.

    We decided this year to start accepting donations for the guild's charm shop 24 months ahead of time. That way, when members are finished with projects or cleaning closets, they have somewhere to donate right away. We all know what happens when things are "lost" in the house or just too messy to get to when the charm shop starts asking for donations. Hopefully, this will gather even more donations and we can sort, measure, cut earlier and with less pressure.

    I've put many a pound of "dirty" fabric or smelly fabric in my washer-------------and had great clean fabric when I was done.
    Bad Spellers of the World
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  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by sewingsuz View Post
    I hate when I send my quilt out to Grandaughter and never get a Thank You! Was it that bad????
    It is a sad commentary on the times. Parents don't teach their children manners anymore. I'm not that old (my 27 yr old daughter might think otherwise, lol), but I was taught to always send a thank you note. I taught my daughter to do the same. In my opinion, an email is not sufficient and a text is definitely not appropriate. I don't care how much technology advances, there is no excuse for thoughtless behavior.

  23. #23
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    I would just say "Thank You" to the "It looks professional" comment.

    As far as the fabric goes - that depends to a certain extent on the circumstances that come with it.

    I've learned that it's a good idea to take a look at it before accepting it (when possible).

    The "If I can't (won't) use it, is it okay if I pass it on?" comment could be very useful!

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    Quote Originally Posted by SonjaG View Post
    It is a sad commentary on the times. Parents don't teach their children manners anymore. I'm not that old (my 27 yr old daughter might think otherwise, lol), but I was taught to always send a thank you note. I taught my daughter to do the same. In my opinion, an email is not sufficient and a text is definitely not appropriate. I don't care how much technology advances, there is no excuse for thoughtless behavior.
    Hi Sonja,

    My comment below is not meant as a personal flame, but another opinion not often expressed here. I was also raised to write a thank you note, but communication options have changed.

    I was at a workshop a year ago on Working with First Nation Elders. It puts the idea of what is appropriate into a cultural context. In the Coast Salish community if something is important, the information must be passed orally face to face, second would be a phone call,the very last would be written information.

    Yet in a Eurocentric world we discredit a thank you, given orally, in person or by phone and feel that only a hand written note is acceptable.

    We have so many more ways to communicate that in my mind are as acceptable as a hand written note. We are not living 100 years ago when a written note was the only option, let alone the only acceptable option.

    On Christmas Day my kids send email thank yous with photos of them with their gifts to the overseas grandparents. I feel that is just as acceptable as sitting them down with a pen and paper to hand write a thank you note, then posting it to arrive a week or more after the holidays.
    Attending University. I will graduate a year after my son and year before my daughter.

  25. #25
    Super Member Murphy1's Avatar
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    I am amazed at how many people never acknowledge gifts sent and when it is a quilt made especially for them, it is more than hurtful. My son and his wife are both part of that group. I even write long notes telling how I developed their special quilt, and nothing is acknowledged. I think good manners are slowly dying sadly.
    Quote Originally Posted by pattypurple View Post
    I think I would fall over if I got a thank you note from any of my nieces or their children. Guess that isn't considered important anymore. Don't take it as a critique of your work.
    Murphy1
    For our wonderful Golden Retriever adopted in March of 2010.

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