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Thread: what do you say when you give a gift, and reciepiant says

  1. #51
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    Don't feel bad I gave two quilts this summer one to a neice for a bridal shower and one to a neighbor for a baby shower and have still not received a thank you note in the mail.... I have a 7 year old grandson who sent me a thank you not for his birthday gift for crying out loud..... What is wrong with people....!!!
    llweezie

  2. #52
    Junior Member eyes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grandmahoney View Post
    I am always polite and take the fabric and just give it to someone else that can use it or I donate it to Good will. People mean well so why hurt there feelings they are only trying to be helpful.
    I am not sure there is such a thing as yucky fabric. It just takes time and creativity to do something with it and I may be doing something else right now.
    Last edited by eyes; 11-28-2012 at 05:37 AM.
    Linda Lee

    "Be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

  3. #53
    Senior Member rj.neihart's Avatar
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    When someone says "it looks professional" I say "thank you, it's made with love." If someone gives me material that I think is yucky, I find someone who can make good use of it. I'll never turn material away - there's always someone else who will like it.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tartan View Post
    Well if they say it looks professional, that 's a compliment and I say "thank-you". If anyone gives me stuff I don't want or need, again I say thank-you and donate it to a charity shop.
    I am a member of a church craft group that often receives stuff that is not useful. We go through it - toss what is really garbage, use what we can and pass on what we can't. Truth is some people just don't want to throw junk out and feel better about giving it away. Nevertheless, we receive lots of good donated fabric, etc. so it is worth the effort.

  5. #55
    Super Member coopah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laura Weisberg View Post
    Don't feel bad I gave two quilts this summer one to a neice for a bridal shower and one to a neighbor for a baby shower and have still not received a thank you note in the mail.... I have a 7 year old grandson who sent me a thank you not for his birthday gift for crying out loud..... What is wrong with people....!!!
    I was informed by a mother of the groom that newlyweds "have 6 months" to mail out thank yous.

    My son thanks me verbally for gifts. His wife sometimes thanks and sometimes not. Since I don't ever want to be the evil MIL, I continue to send her gifts, but he gets more. I make table runners and think she probably gives them away. Not many family traditions in her family. She bluntly told me she wouldn't take time to put candy canes in a cross stitched Advent calendar I made for my boys over 30 years ago. We were very poor then and it had lots of good memories. So now I keep things like that. A lesson learned!
    "A woman is like a tea bag-you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #56
    Junior Member homebody323's Avatar
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    I recently had a dear friend who makes clothes bring me tubs and tubs of fabrics. None were quilt worthy. I took the wide stuff, 60" some of it fairly heavy (I'm not sure what she had that for), put it on the machine for the back. Then I cut 60" lengths of the other stuff. Loaded that thick poly batting I didn't know what I was going to do with it, layed one piece of the 45x60" stuff on top, and started basting the sides and meandering. When I finished that one, I just added another piece. Oh yes, I did a double line abou t 1/2" apart from the take up roller towards me at the mid point. I used that as a cutting point. Anyway I quilted till I ran out of backing. Cut them apart, trimmed and did a self mitered edge to make them look good and took them to the animal shelter. Those poor dogs sleep on the cement and my bones just ache thinking about it. Used up some of my ugly thread, had to actually go buy some more of that thick poly and after about a week delivered 37 of them. Boy dd I feel good.
    Sally Dolin
    Rock Island, IL

  7. #57
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    I made quilts for my nieces, ages 23 and 25. I never even got an acknowledgment that they arrived! I know the younger one loves her quilt, because I saw it in their living room, Nd she uses it all the time, but I won't make either of them anything again. They are both quite entitled and spoiled and don't appreciate the work and love that went into it. I gave my mother a quilt I made from a vintage quilt top, and was at her house when she put it on the couch and has the dog get up and lie down on its, I love dogs, but you want the quilt ruined, instead of your couch?? What the heck? I told her I was taking it back, so she put a different blanket down so I didn't steal it back!
    My mother-in-law, on the other hand, practically cried when I gave her a quilt, and she couldn't thank me enough. I know,she treasures it, so,there are more gifts in her future!
    Nancy Lee

  8. #58
    Super Member vickig626's Avatar
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    I gave a quilt as a wedding gift - no thank you. months later, I saw the husband and asked about the quilt. His response?
    "The cat likes it".....I was crushed.

    Gave another one to my stepson when he got remarried. They loved it !! Then as my brother-in-law's funeral (of all places), he asked me if I used cheap Walmart batting since it wasn't warm. Again -- crushed !!

    No more wedding gifts except for my son if and when he gets married. He and my hubby seemed to be the only ones who can appreciate them.
    Life's More Fun with a Doxie !!
    ​Have a Great Day !
    Vicki G
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  9. #59
    Junior Member eyes's Avatar
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    When I got my panties in a bunch with never getting a 'thank you' or any telephone calls from our 3 step-grandchildren even thought I sent their gifts home with our daughter and son-in-law or put them in the mail I was informed that we as grandparents were out of line expecting a 'thank you' as it was our duty to give . Needless to say they never got another thing from us!

    And needless to say our daughter gets very little from us to for always making excuses for this ungrateful family.

    And the flip side of this is...I have been making felt tree ornaments for years for a class mate of our daughter's 3 little boys and always send them a few $ on their birthdays and at Christmas time and you would think I gave them a million dollars.

    So who knows what makes some people including families tick.
    Linda Lee

    "Be the change you want to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

  10. #60
    Super Member DebbieJJ's Avatar
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    My mom told me out-right that she had rather have a blanket any ole' day of the week, but my step-dad loves the quilt I gave him!
    A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. ~Hugh Downs
    Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns.I am thankful that thorns have roses.~Allophones Karr
    “The happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others." — Gordon B Hinckley

    "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop." ~ Confucius

  11. #61
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tartan View Post
    Well if they say it looks professional, that 's a compliment and I say "thank-you". If anyone gives me stuff I don't want or need, again I say thank-you and donate it to a charity shop.
    I agree with Tartan .. no sense in ruffling feathers or causing bruised feelings. WE a humans are such sensitive humans and forget about what others think when the words that come out of our mouth, the written word or the typed word our perception is our own and we each perceive things differently
    Thank goodness !LOL
    When Life brings big winds of change that almost blows you over.Hang on tight and Believe.
    Words and hearts should be handled with care-for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair. Author unknown to me
    Do what you feel in your heart to be right; for you'll be criticized anyway-Eleanor Roosevelt

  12. #62
    Super Member Sweeterthanwine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tartan View Post
    Well if they say it looks professional, that 's a compliment and I say "thank-you". If anyone gives me stuff I don't want or need, again I say thank-you and donate it to a charity shop.
    I agree with this.

  13. #63
    Super Member roserips's Avatar
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    Always take the high road... you know the one that no one likes to travel. Say Thank-you and smile they probably think that they are being kind.

  14. #64
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    One of the highest compliments I received was
    "it looks store bought!"
    The best kind of sleep from Heaven above...
    is under a quilt homemade with LOVE!

  15. #65
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    I was going to make a quilt for my nieces new baby and now I don't want to.

  16. #66
    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zyngawf View Post
    I was going to make a quilt for my nieces new baby and now I don't want to.
    Please,dont let some of the nasties ruin it for you. She may be the one grateful person.
    six months ago,i met my cousins dUghter(23) , at my aunts funeral. i made a memorial bear for her, i got such a nice thankyou, shes getting a quilt, a pilllow, table runner, coasters,car trash bag and stocking stuffd with goodies,, all hand made from me. I know shell treasure it all.

  17. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaryLane View Post
    Different strokes for different folks. I view thank you notes as something you send when you can't communicate directly with the giver. I really don't like getting them unless I mailed a gift to someone and need to know it arrived. If a family member I made a quilt for sent me one I would be hurt that we weren't close enough for them to take the time to call me and tell me thank you.
    I agree with this. With a family member, a call to let me know it arrived, and that they love it is enough. I don't need a parade, but a thank you is nice.
    Nancy Lee

  18. #68
    Super Member fayzer's Avatar
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    Sewing is a passion of mine, from heirloom dresses to quilts and all things in between. I recently sent a "Baby Shower in a Box" to a sailor that I supported in Afghanistan and his wife for their baby girl that was due in three weeks. (He is now here in the USA.) I included a "Hugs and Kisses" quilt, a hand made blanket, a Bapron, receiving blankets, baby toys, two beautiful floral head bands that I bought on Etsy and lavender baby wash and lotion. I wrapped each gift before placing it in the box. I included a sweet card to the parents. I loved making everything for baby because her daddy and I were so close during his deployment. I never even heard a word from either of them. When the baby was about 2 months old I finally asked the mom on FB if the box ever arrived. She said "Oh, yes and I loved everything. You could sell that stuff you know." Little did she know, I DO sell that "stuff." I couldn't believe I never got an email, call or anything from them. When you spend around $100 on a gift, a little acknowledgment goes a long way. Lesson learned. Now I have to decide whether the person is "Quilt Worthy!

  19. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by fayzer View Post
    . . . Lesson learned. Now I have to decide whether the person is "Quilt Worthy!
    As hard as it may be to believe - not everyone wants a quilt. If the person says "I don't want one" - believe him/her.

    If the person has a track record of being ungrateful, don't bother. At least, not with a quilt.

    If a person is notorious for not taking care of his/her things, don't bother.

    Another way to look at the gift of a quilt - besides the out of pocket expense, count the actual time spent working on it - at whatever your regular pay per hour is (if reitired, use minimum wage) - How many people - especially acquaintances - do you spend $200 or more on?

  20. #70
    Super Member MartiMorga's Avatar
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    I am grateful for all I get, because like so many of you, if I can't use it I know where to donate it and I am sure someone will use it. I would never want to discourage anyone from giving me anything......

  21. #71
    Senior Member Gabrielle's Mimi's Avatar
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    I had a funny one last week...I was looking at a house that was for sale and the owner said when she heard that I was a quilter, "oh, how quaint!" What do you say to that??? Maybe I look like an antique!
    Create with joy in your heart!

  22. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tartan View Post
    Well if they say it looks professional, that 's a compliment and I say "thank-you". If anyone gives me stuff I don't want or need, again I say thank-you and donate it to a charity shop.
    My thoughts exactly.

  23. #73
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    I have similar thoughts to bearisgray. I have a good friend for whom I would love to make a quilt. What holds me back is that he has become a hoarder and it appears that everything in his house is just one huge pile of clutter. Somehow, I don't think a quilt would be valued, but I do know that my friendship is.

  24. #74
    Super Member Rose_P's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HillCountryGal View Post
    If someone offers me fabric...
    I try to figure out if they hope to see it turned into something OR if they just want to pass it on.
    Generally, they just want it gone from their house. So, I say "thank you, if I can't find a use for it, I know people that can." That way, I'm not committing to me actually using it. AND, I do find people that want/need it.

    As for the "it looks professional"... I would take that as a compliment and leave it at that.
    I think this is the best way to handle the fabric issue, if you don't want to outright refuse it. If the term "professional" bugs you, I see nothing wrong with asking - with a grin! - "Do you mean like the mass produced stuff you see in stores?! - I was hoping to do better than that!" If people aren't confronted about their assumptions, they are not going to change, and sadly, a lot of people still have the idea that home sewing of any sort is something people do just to save money, which couldn't be farther from the truth these days.
    "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." - Voltaire

  25. #75
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    I understand what you mean. Last week during our Thanksgiving get together I gave one of my relatives a quilt I had made for her. Another relative asked me if I quilted it or had it quilted for me. Implying that if you only do the top you're not a real quilter and therefore it's not a real quilt. I was dumbfounded and somewhat angry.

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