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-   -   Friends and honesty (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/friends-honesty-t161460.html)

mamaw 10-18-2011 05:33 PM

I am curious as to how you all feel about your friendships. Do you want your friends to be honest with you about everything, or only when you ask for it?
I believe in total honesty instead of saying what someone wants to hear, and have been faulted for it. I am only asking to know what the majority feel about this.
If you lost a friendship because of being honest, would you regret it?

frauhahn 10-18-2011 05:35 PM

The way I see it, if you can't be honest with a friend, it isn't much of a friendship. . .

bkb 10-18-2011 05:37 PM

That is the reason I have a few friends and a lot of accquiantances.! Honesty all the way!

butterflies5518 10-18-2011 05:37 PM


Originally Posted by bkb
That is the reason I have a few friends and a lot of acquaintances.! Honesty all the way!



:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

sewwhat85 10-18-2011 05:40 PM

imho there is a difference in honesty and and being cruel i believe that in a friendship you can be honest in a loving and kind way. If i think what I am going to say may damage the friendship I would not say it or would try to say it in a different way. It all depends on the value of the friendship.It just like your mom used to tell you if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all.

mom-6 10-18-2011 05:44 PM

I definitely believe in being honest, but I also believe in being tactful with that honesty. The way you say what you say can either be hurtful or helpful. Strive to only be helpful. If it could be hurtful, try to find a way to say it that will take as much of the sting away as possible.

Recently a friend was complaining about a mutual friend who has been having a pretty rough time of it being a real grump. I reminded him that he was the same way last year when he had been having a bad spell. His response was along the lines of "Was I really that bad?" and I told him (with a grin and a hug) that he was worse! If I had just barked at him, he would probably have been offended, but as it was, he kind of hung his head and said "Yeh, guess I was".

Jim's Gem 10-18-2011 05:44 PM


Originally Posted by sewwhat85
imho there is a difference in honesty and and being cruel i believe that in a friendship you can be honest in a loving and kind way. If i think what I am going to say may damage the friendship I would not say it or would try to say it in a different way. It all depends on the value of the friendship.It just like your mom used to tell you if you cant say something nice dont say anything at all.

This is how I feel. Be honest with me but you don't need to be cruel. If I ask you a question, answer me honestly. But don't come up to me and be brutally honest about something that I did not ask about. Being concerned about my weight is one thing, telling me I am a fat, lazy person, is totally another item all together. You have to earn the right to be honest with your friends. It is not a license to criticize.

pocoellie 10-18-2011 05:44 PM

I don't have a lot of "friends" although I have plenty of "acquintances" and that is my choice, but I don't hold back on speaking my mind, although I would never intentionally say anything to hurt anyone's feelings. If you can't speak the truth to a friend, then I don't think it's much of a friendship. My opinion.

luv-e 10-18-2011 05:44 PM


Originally Posted by frauhahn
The way I see it, if you can't be honest with a friend, it isn't much of a friendship. . .

Ditto...............You have to have someone pull the reins in on you sometimes.......

Dolphyngyrl 10-18-2011 05:48 PM


Originally Posted by frauhahn
The way I see it, if you can't be honest with a friend, it isn't much of a friendship. . .

Touche, friends can still be honest even if its in a critical loving way.


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