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Chatty Cathy
I am feeling so frustrated this a.m. I have been going to a small quilt group for a while and we all just bonded and really had good productive get togethers. Last month a gal who is new to the area dropped by and made noises about joining us. This time she came. Wow can she talk!!! Been everywhere, done everything, etc. You know the type, I suspect. It just ruined the whole day. I realize she's new, probably nervous and anxious for friends etc., but the group could fold if this continues. No, she was not invited, but we meet in a public place and the drop in issues has never come up. No one knows her, so can't really take her aside and suggest she talk less. Any ideas? Several people have said they won't continue if she keeps this up. Of course no one wants to confront her. Thanks for ideas.
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It was her first visit and it might have been nervous talking. Give her another chance and if it continues in the next meeting, speak up. In a nice way just tell her your group uses this as their quiet time and you would appreciate it if she toned it down a little. What's the worst that can happen? Try not to discourage new her because she just might have some fresh techniques or ideas
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Yes, I do have a solution...first of all, since you don't know her, you don't know what her life is like outside the quilting room. Secondly, she is in need, it appears, of friendship. So...it would be benefical if someone in the group, maybe you, could invite her to go to lunch and in the conversation, without pointing fingers, let her know that the group enjoys little conversaton while working or however you want to word it. I know the type of personality - their contant talking usually means they are insecure and they need reassurance. I hope some effort is made to help her understand the quilt group without making her feel unwanted. However, if she does not get the hint about the constant talking in the group, then she will have to be told outright that the constant convesation is unwelcome, but she is welcome. It can be done in a friendly and loving way. I hope this helps.
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Yes I know the type, and they seldom change. Gentle confrontation won't help but will leave you feeling more miserable. Maybe you could start meeting somewhere else for a while?
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We had a new member in our guild who talked non stop about everything. Everyone would gravitate away from her. I found out by listening and letting her talk she has indeed had a life many would envy! The movie Auntie Mame reminds me of her. LOL. She had more adventures in her life that anyone I know that were funny, serious, dangerous, and just plain amazing. The woman's DH passed away and she moved here to be close to her son and his family. She wasn't trying to be a know it all (she truly does know most all) she just wanted to remember her life she missed so much and the only way to do that was by talking about it. She is guild treasure and a good friend to all. Don't dismiss the chatty cathy just yet, get to know her.
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As quite a Chatty Cathy myself sometimes, please give her another chance. In a new group, she may have felt the need to introduce herself and let y'all know what she is about. It's hard being the new kid to a bunch friends who are already acquainted. If she still dominates the conversation after a few visits, I think the lunch idea is terrific. It also makes a difference if she is "dumping on y'all" or just telling more info than you want to know.
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Originally Posted by BellaBoo
(Post 6293441)
We had a new member in our guild who talked non stop about everything. Everyone would gravitate away from her. I found out by listening and letting her talk she has indeed had a life many would envy! The movie Auntie Mame reminds me of her. LOL. She had more adventures in her life that anyone I know that were funny, serious, dangerous, and just plain amazing. The woman's DH passed away and she moved here to be close to her son and his family. She wasn't trying to be a know it all (she truly does know most all) she just wanted to remember her life she missed so much and the only way to do that was by talking about it. She is guild treasure and a good friend to all. Don't dismiss the chatty cathy just yet, get to know her.
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It's ageless! My granddaughter use to watch it many times during her summer break when she was with me. Such a fun movie!
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give her a bit more time. nerves can do a lot to a person. I quit a group that split into "groups" / clicks to chat near the end. can't stand that. good luck.
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Sorry, I thought you were talking about the doll. My oldest Daughter still has hers.
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