Hello: Haven't heard from you in a long time. I'm sorry to hear you are still beating yourself by being critical. I, too was critical at one time, but something bad happened. The other grandma became very ill and now is in the last stage of her life. Like you I didn't do anything horrible but would feel jealousy when she did more than I could do financially. So-Stop beating yourself up and enjoy what you can do and what you have. You might be surprised in the long run what comes back from those grandchildren. I am. All the love that the other grandma cannot now accept is jumping over the fence to me. This probably should have been a PM, but after reading your letter, I wanted the whole world to know that from my own dealing with you through the Quilt Guild that you are a wonderful, caring person. So--enjoy what you have for someday you may be looking the gift horse in the mouth.