I love fmq, and I hate sitd. I have a Pfaff Quilt Expression 2.0 which sews like an absolute dream and I love the IDT, but I cannot get my stitches to stay in the ditch. With fmq I don't have to worry about that. No, my stitches are not all the same length, but I have decided that they should not be. With shorter stitches I can turn tighter curves and do finer detail, but I don't like really short stitches on wider turns and longer runs of stitches. I still find that I am very satisfied with the overall look.
My fmq is not totally free hand work. I quite often cut templates from free applique or coloring book shapes that I get online. I meander loops or leaves or hearts or whatever and stitch around the template periodically. I gave up trying to stipple as I always worked myself into a corner and had to do a loop or double back to get out of it. A meander with interspersed shapes works well. I put arrowheads, bears, and kokopeli on a western theme quilt and butterflies, daisies, and bees on a garden theme (flowers) quilt.
Don't try to copy others work. Just keep trying and keep practicing until you find what you are comfortable with. Oh, you've also got to be relaxed. Just let your fingers guide the quilt where it "feels" right. Also, don't try to fight the quilt or force it to go somewhere. If a stitch or two take off in the wrong direction just go with it and make a loop or something to bring it back where you wanted it.