Sad, but .........
09-15-2011, 11:47 AM
#121
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The Silver State Nevada
Posts: 670
Originally Posted by RenaB
I would get it straight from the one that matters the most, the mother. Tell her exactly what you told us and tell her u want to respect her wishes.
I think she woukd appreciate and respect that u cared enough to ask.
If it was me, personally, I would want the memory of the twin that was lost to continue. The twin that lived will want to remember the memory of the brother that once shared a bond with him.
I think she woukd appreciate and respect that u cared enough to ask.
If it was me, personally, I would want the memory of the twin that was lost to continue. The twin that lived will want to remember the memory of the brother that once shared a bond with him.
I think this is a wonderful idea...I'm the nana to two strapping 15-year old twin boys, and they are still each others best friends, so the living brother will always want to know about the one that is in heaven.
09-15-2011, 05:22 PM
#122
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: near Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 61
We lost a granddaughter right before her 5th birthday and my nephew lost a still born. Please, please ask the mom first. Somethings you receive help and other things are too painful. Only the parents can tell you what would be helpful. There is no predicting what will help and what will be a comfort without asking. Please ask first.
09-15-2011, 06:10 PM
#124
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Estero, Fl.
Posts: 106
Originally Posted by AFQSinc
I would still make it. I have a friend that lost one of her twins (they were born at 27 weeks) and she said that the thing that hurt the most was that people didn't acknowledge the baby that died. She believed that they were doing it because they didn't want to cause her additional pain or upset. The fact of the matter is that the other baby did exist and is loved as much as the one that survived.
09-17-2011, 01:12 AM
#126
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Queensland Australia
Posts: 1,388
Originally Posted by lindasidlow
Probably something else. On the other hand, 2 did come! You just cant predict how the mom will take either one. She could be sad OR mad that you left the other one out. Maybe wait awhile and see how she deals with the situation.
09-17-2011, 02:14 AM
#127
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 1,228
Originally Posted by sweetana3
I would make sure there was a wonderful rainbow and one dove flying. I agree with the others to go with your feelings and knowledge of the mother. It does not need to be a surprise.
Two babies were born, one went to heaven but he was here for a short time so yes follow your heart on this.
09-17-2011, 04:36 AM
#128
Junior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 101
Please Please finish the Noah's ark as planned. I lost a son that was stillborn and it hurts everytime he is left out of the count of grandchildren. The baby did exist and needs to be counted. I also lost a daughter that died 2 hours after giving birth, she was 29 but I would still want her counted. So please do the mom a favor and count the one that passed away.
09-17-2011, 05:20 AM
#129
Junior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: West Milton, Ohio
Posts: 284
That's a hard one. My condolences to the family. I agree with the other readers, I would want the other baby acknowledged. But you know the mother best, and hopefully you can read her personality as to what she would want. I am not so sure I would give it immediately, I think time to let the loss sink in, and see how she does will be a big factor in your decision. She is still very blessed with the other baby that needs her.
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