I lied to my husband
05-10-2012, 04:19 AM
#71
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: SOO, MI
Posts: 838
I always tell DH how much I SAVED him, not how much it cost him. I don't work outside the home and as a SAHM certainly dont bring in a paycheck that you can see in our bank account. DH has always been supportive of al my hobbies and encourages me to purchase what I need when I need it. It breaks my heart to hear stories of those women who much "ask for permission" to spend money they have learned.
You need to do what is best for you and your financial situation~who are we to judge?
You need to do what is best for you and your financial situation~who are we to judge?
05-10-2012, 04:19 AM
#72
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 150
In my situation I am the bread winner in our family. I buy what I want, and tell him nothing. If he needs parts for his truck or tractor he knows to go get them. We very seldom discuss how much we spend on things. He also has no clue what is in the bank or what the bills run. That makes it easier to ''treat'' myself here and there.
05-10-2012, 04:42 AM
#74
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Horse Country, FL
Posts: 7,341
I wouldn't have lied, in the first place, since I don't believe in spousal allowances. If I want to buy something, I have the sense to know whether or not we can afford it; my dh feels the same way. However, since you did lie about it, I'd weigh my options very carefully. How much harm will it do now, to tell him you lied? Forget about "clearing your conscience" and think how it will affect his feelings and your relationship. Will he forgive and forget . . . or will it cause him to have trouble trusting you, in the future?
Another question - Is there a way he'll find out about your lie, if you don't confess? If he's going to find out, it's better coming from you. If not, I'd keep quiet and try to forgive myself for fibbing.
Another question - Is there a way he'll find out about your lie, if you don't confess? If he's going to find out, it's better coming from you. If not, I'd keep quiet and try to forgive myself for fibbing.
05-10-2012, 04:54 AM
#75
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 179
Buy wise and buy once. I guess many of us are in the same boat when it comes to the cost of our addiction--in this case fabric, and tools needed to feed our quilting fever. I don't believe in telling lies either but agree that unless asked I don't give details. If this is something you really wanted and will be using regularly than guilt is not an issue. I will forgo other pleasures until I feel I have paid for my treasure. That may mean less trips to nail salon, movies, eating lunch out, etc. for a while, but will be worth the trouble if your conscience is clear. Tell hubby what you are willing to do to pay for this and get it out of your mind so you can enjoy your find.
05-10-2012, 05:05 AM
#76
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Keller, TX
Posts: 7,417
I quit telling my husband about my purchases a long time ago. When something comes in and he asks about it, I say "You don't want to know" and he now says "You are right". We are both adult enough to know if there is money available for a purchase. I just happen to spend and he does not. I would tell him when the item arrives what you actually paid and that you were mistaken about the bid. After that, I would not lie again. The best is to get it off your conscience and enjoy your new toy! Good luck.
05-10-2012, 05:33 AM
#77
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 2,879
Perhaps after you've made several things and he can see how beneficial it is, confessing the extra cost won't be a problem. Plus if it was your money, why do you have to justify it? There are a LOT of quilters here who will gladly back you up!!
05-10-2012, 05:40 AM
#78
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: So. Fla now, Va orig
Posts: 1,565
Unless they really support you in your "habit" (quilting), its difficult with a big purchase. I actually bought an accuquilt with mines blessing after he showed it to me at a quilt show. Then at the next I decided after using the accuquilt (and he saw with his own eyes)and feeling it was not made well and put too much strain on my wrist, and wasted too much fabric, he agreed I could purchase the quilt cut 2 and SELL the accuquilt. Bargains are made in heaven, lies on the other hand make you feel BAD. (Married 52 years)
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