ctyankee

Since you've already made it, just send it on. Sending an unexpected bill with it is like getting slapped in the face. It's unfortunate you didn't have this conversation with her before you made the quilt, but what's done is done. She probably didn't know you'd be sending it to someone to quilt for you, either, so the only road is the high road. And you made it primarily at your niece's request.

Judith1005

Is it better to be right, or Kind? Just be kind. Send it with positive blessings and move on. This is a no win situation. But, I would nip any future requests at the onset. It was nice of you to make another Quilt.

PurplePassion

When I make quilts by my choice , it is to use up the fabrics I already have. But she wanted it longer , and I had to buy backing. And I wouldn't have done a good job of quilting it , so have to pay extra for the quilting. I guess I could just send it and ask if she could pay postage. I have done so many good deeds, it would be nice to be on the receiving end once in a while. I know she isn't hurting for money.

Sandygirl

I am Christian...and I would not have made the quilt. So there. ( rolling my eyes, btw.). But since it is almost done without any mention of asking for financial assistance.....might as well finish it and send it. Maybe ask for shipping costs to be covered. Why o why do we never learn to think things through and then decide only to be mad at ourselves when we don't?

Sandy

LivelyLady

A similar situation happened to me and I found no enjoyment in making it, but I made it anyway. I was prepared the second time I ran into that situation and gave them the yardage and size of batting and backing and said they could pick out their own colors and batting and bring it to me. They did..........but at least it only cost me time and thread. It's amazing how people don't realize how much it costs till they have to buy the fabric. In the end was much appreciated by the recipient.

PurplePassion

Why didn't I think of this? I hope I have learned my lesson. Thank you everyone for your input. It is nice to read other people's perspectives on this.

weasier22

So sorry to hear that you have been put in-between a rock & a hard place. I'm amazed at the attitude that some people have when it comes to quilts. Assumption is a word I do not like!! Since you have already made the quilt (out of the goodness of your heart), I would just send it to her and be done with it. BUT if there is ever another asking, I certainly would bring up cost to that person. Materials & time aren't free. It's so much nicer to make a quilt for someone on your own decision; not on someone's assumption. You are a better person for doing what you did.

meyert

honestly I quilt, and I can't help myself. I always have 3 or 4 that I am working on. I would probably send it to her, but why not put a note with it - - not necessarily a bill

Just sweetly say since your niece asked you to make it how could you refuse her? The time and money put in the quilt - along with the love, makes this a priceless gift and that you hope she enjoys it. Its not a thing you would do for just anyone

PaperPrincess

The problem with just sending it on is that you have opened the gates for the next relative(s). Since you are on good terms with her daughter, I think I would see if she would like to pay for the quilting and postage then give the quilt to her mom for Christmas.

suern3

Why oh why, my question, too, why can't we learn to just say no when we mean no? There was another thread on here recently, similar to this, although the quilt hadn't been made yet. Women especially, need to learn to say no. I say women only because I believe it is a cultural thing that we all pick up for some reason. Pleasers, peace-makers, etc. We can even learn to say no in a nice way, but not with excuses. Leaves an opening for those who will ask for anything and everything to keep asking. Anyway, off my soap box now Since you have not sent it to be quilted yet, I think you should fold it up and put it away for a while, let it rest. It seems to be making you feel more resentful as you go on with it and what is really the point of giving a gift that makes you feel like that. If you can't give it with no last minute strings attached, don't give it at all. You will be setting yourself up for more resentment. If you have a good relationship with your niece it should not be effected by this. If it is, the relationship wasn't what you thought it was anyway. You may feel incredibly free and lighter if you put this one away. Best wishes in what ever you decide.