Chatty Cathy
09-18-2013, 01:37 AM
#81
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 4,961
Originally Posted by jeanharville
I think there is a difference between contributing (talkative) and dominating a conversation. When one person hogs the conversation and is constantly talking about themselves and their interests at the expense of other people in the group who would also like to comment, I think it is rude behavior. I've been a mother of three little stair-step boys and I understand how one longs for adult conversation. But the word conversation means everyone who wants to join gets to. If you know you're chatty, try asking leading questions to your friends to include them. Your might learn something interesting about them. We all love to talk about ourselves or to help others, so ask for help with a quilting problem or about a recipe, anything to get others to talk too. Please be thoughtful of all the people in the group and don't dominate. JM2C.
09-18-2013, 01:41 AM
#82
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 4,961
Originally Posted by Knitette
I was astonished that you call this lady your 'friend'!
I'm fairly sure that most of my friends are happy to be in my company. I would be devastated if I thought they didn't join a group because of me.
In fact, I would be thoroughly questioning our 'friendship'.
I'm fairly sure that most of my friends are happy to be in my company. I would be devastated if I thought they didn't join a group because of me.
In fact, I would be thoroughly questioning our 'friendship'.
09-18-2013, 03:19 AM
#83
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,165
There's another side to this coin - if you are at an event, and just discuss quilting as you feel your personal life is no one's business, you are just as ostracized.
If you have very different interests besides quilting, you are also persona non grata.
If you have very different interests besides quilting, you are also persona non grata.
09-18-2013, 06:45 AM
#84
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lumby, British Columbia
Posts: 2,769
I concur with the rest of the replies...give her another chance. It could have been just nerves. Although I'm not overly chatty I certainly have been in her shoes. We have a lady in our group who never stops talking. I try not to sit close to her but her chatter is consent. I decided the rest of the group are so much fun I made myself start looking at Chatty's positive attributes. When I did this she didn't bother me as much and I grew to really love her and what she brought to the group. We have been meeting for 10 years now. And yes she still chatters non stop, lol.
09-19-2013, 07:04 AM
#85
Power Poster
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Charleston SC
Posts: 10,743
I would try not to judge on first impressions....Underneath may be a lonely person with a heart of gold...She may settle in and be the best member you ever had. We all need to be accepted ...Give her a chance...
09-21-2013, 03:47 PM
#86
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Charleston, SC
Posts: 1,640
Chatty gal
This person may not last long in the group. She may get bored with you all, since she's been all over and has done so much. Does she quilt? Tell her the rules of the group, plain and simple. If you all have been quilting for some time together, don't allow someone to do that to you. If she keeps it up anyway, just say "there you go again." I hope this person isn't a narcissistic as they love being the center of attention, letting others know they have more, are better, and disregard others by interrupting to talk about themselves. Make her adhere to the rules. Good luck.
09-21-2013, 05:15 PM
#87
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: The Beautiful Willamette Valley In Oregon
Posts: 689
Oh, My! I feel sorry for this lady. She is probably very lonely or she wouldn't have braved visiting the guild. By "making noises" like she wanted to join, she was probably wondering if someone would invite her to come back to the next meeting. Hearing none, she may have nervously talked too much, thinking if she mentioned enough positive things about herself, the group might find something acceptable about her after all. Seems sometimes a person just can't win, if you speak too much, in the opinion of others, you are considered too talkative, if you don't converse enough, then some will consider you aloof. Oma66 has a very gentle and loving suggestion I like what she has said.
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