That was funny.
But, seriously, this MIGHT help -- works most of the time with my cat.
He is on medication for an over-active thyroid and he's supposed to be given pills twice a day.
The vet's assistant suggested Greenies Pill Pockets. Wrap the pill in this thing and usually he'll eat it off the floor or out of my hand. I've started putting a few Temptations treats along with it and he usually just vacuums everything up.