Originally Posted by JJs
you said......"because Sasha has a short fuse, and I always try to diffuse the situation".....
are you really saying you have to tiptoe around to keep him from blowing up? is this one of those, "look what you made me do" relationships? My daughter and both my sisters were in those kind of marriages... my daughter put up with it for 20 years - I knew the guy was an ass but I never knew he was as bad as he was.... my one grand-daughter has a restraining order against her dad for pete's sake....
My sister's husband tried to drown her in the bathtub - we were NEVER aware of anything like that in her marriage until she FINALLY ended it................
if you have to be that careful to keep from "making him upset" you have a bigger problem than being hormonal - and is that what he says when you do get upset?.....
and $600 is a HUGE amount of money for young struggling couples...
my daughter stayed and wound up with four children - and they all feared their dad... please don't put your child in that kind of situation....
he has NO right to be upset with you for mentioning the tickets IF he put them in with the tax info, AND the money came from 'family' money to pay them.......
if he has extra money that he keeps for himself, then I assume he paid the tickets out of that? But why did he not mention them - and you're right - what was he doing somewhere that he didn't need to be....
We never played the yours, mine and ours money game in our marriage - and we're going on 45 years this December....
Ditto! I also think he needs to know that it is hurtful when he keeps things from you. You have a right to your feelings. Is he trying to control how you respond or IF you respond? I think you have a lot of things to consider regarding the overall relationship. Maybe he is just young and needs to grow and mature, but maybe there are deeper issues that you both will need to sort out. There have been some good ideas and coping strategies given here--some different ways to consider what you will do, but one thing you should never have to do is refrain from saying what you think and feel because of a "short fuse."
Hopefully, when you bring it up, he will have a good explanation of why he handled the situation the way he did. My guess (and experience) is that he will say he was trying to protect you and didn't want to upset you--but that is a form of control. What is usually the point, is to keep from having to face whatever the response would be, so it is actually a very selfish, manipulative maneuver--again either immaturity or something deeper.
Some of the people who have responded to your post are seasoned, experienced, been there, done that people. So take all of the information; sort through it; process it and see what you feel will work for you. You have definitely raised some red flags for many of us, and I pray things will work out for you. Big Hugs