Well, I know it isn't funny. I have to really see what happened close up to figure out how to fix but what about the basic problem?
When I started quilting I thought 1/4" was tiny and went with 3/8 inch seams. I cut my quilt peices out of cereal boxes and added the 3/8" seams and went to town. Yes, I finished those first quilts and they each seemed to weigh about 10,000 pounds each. Wet, I almost needed cranes to move them.
I don't remember when I moved to 1/4" seams but eventually I gained a little trust in the fabrics, figured they would hold and "graduated" to 1/4". Well, things held together and I figured out a couple of things.
1. if you're making 1/4" seams make 1/4" seams. Don't skimp or guess or take it for granted that the top and bottom seams are 1/4". Pin your edges together and check the rest of the block to see every side is matching up.
2. Iron between seams. Iron (Press) the seam line first and then press again with the seams presses toward the darer side.
3. I never WASH my guilts. I dissolve a detergent (less than usual amount) in a full tub of water. I soak. I push all the quilt under the water in the washing machine tub. If it wont stay submerged I cover it with a clean towel to leep it all wet. After 15 or 20 minutes goes by I drain the tub and spin the water out. THEN I fill the tub up again with the quilt still in the washing machine tub push it down with my hands, cover with that same towel if needed to keep it under water, squish it around again by hand. Then drain and spin again. I think I always rinse it out twice. Who wants to breathe in detergents when sleeping under a quilt? And drain and spin.
I gently remove it from the washer and gently dump it into the dryer and give it 10-15 minutes of either air only drying or low heat drying watching carefully not to get some parts dry and some parts still wet. Just a fluff, really
Finally I pick the largest cleanest patch of rug in the house. Lay down the biggest top sheet I have. And lay the quilt over the sheet to dry. I fuss with corners, pull edges straight but if it fluffed correctly in the dryer I don't need to do much fussing.
It dries without harming the rug, sheet or anything else.
Sounds like it is a lot of fussing, doesn't it? But if your washer and dryer a located in a central area of the house you can do all these things in a flash as you walk by on your normal morning or pick up routine.
I send these directions out with my quilts and offer to fix any repairs needed but I think this works.
If you feel your quilts will go to a harried mom with low level laundry skill or triplets and she'll toss your lovlies in the washer with reckless abandon THEN make her quilts with 3/8" seams.
My dogs are crate trained and I make them little quilts (all sorts of spare parts and test blocks) about fat quarter size. These are all 1/4" seams, hand quilted, hand sewn bindings and I wash them in hairy batches, regular wash, with clorox and unless puppy chewed they last about 10 years.
Check your seams, wash gently, practice more. Make placemats or get a dog until the small things don't rip or pull apart. Send the dogs to me when you're done testing.
Jois