thanks very much, bearisgray. you've made some very useful points. (somebody needs to get us an emoticon that hugs. i'm afraid the best i can do is a :thumbup: )
i think in cases where a swapper sends something that doesn't fit within reasonable and clearly stated guidelines, the swap coordinator should not feel mean-spirited for sending it back. i know the return would be explained with kindness.
after all, it's entirely possible the swapper is in more than one swap and mixed up her mailings. you might be doing her a favor.
i like the steak vs. chicken analogy.
if you're swapping steaks and will shriek at the sight of anything less than a kobe filet mignon on a platinum platter with dom perignon, then you should stick to swapping with your own little clique of friends and not go public. if, however, you can look at your paper plate full of chicken-fried cubesteak and appreciate the exercise your jaws will get while chewing it ... you are a good sport. ;-)
when it comes to chicken, the whole free-range organic vs. not is just too complicated and confusing to discuss. :lol: