I guess I just have to chime in with my two cents worth although I have read through a lot of very good advice.
Losing your sister has to be the pits and I can certainly understand why that would you derail you from your "usual" life. My sympathy for your loss.....it takes a long time to grieve.
Next, put away the wet noodle and please don't beat yourself up because you just aren't turned on to doing this quilt. A Queen Quilt is a tremendous project and frankly I haven't been brave enough to attempt such a big project. It is okay to put it on the back burner for awhile. Quilting should be fun. Pick a smaller project, pick fabrics that just take your breath away and start sewing. The Queen Quilt will get finished when the time is right, believe me........
(I also have quite a few WIP and such......)