The exercises help if it is a muscular problem. If it is not, then all the kegel exercises in the world are not going to fix it. I have a kegel exerciser and used it for years. When my pelvic floor tore and my bladder was in my vagina, all the exercises in the world were not going to fix it.
The tests that they did before hand gave my doc a pretty good idea of what was going on before I chose to have surgery. While I agree that many incontinence problems can be handled by exercise, it's a mistake to say that they all can. You need a doctor and if you are unsure- a second opinion. No one should have a surgery if they don't absolutely need to- it's no fun. But if you do need it, then feeling bad about not fixing it with exercise is just silly.