[quote=sahm4605 i got mad and kept going. my own fault. [/quote]
This made me laugh out loud. It's EXACTLY what I did with the roses. And later cursed myself for. I agree with a couple other of the suggestions too. If you quilt the solid border parts with a walking foot first, you will have lots of stability and quilting done, so you can make a design in the squares more easily. Even if you don't have a "picture" in mind, it helps to draw at least partially, what you want there. For instance, I drew vague shapes that I knew would be roses, but the drawn shapes allowed me to free-hand in them and keep the size consistent. For me, a huge help.
Also, if it makes it easier for you to face the tearing out- you can tear out a bit, do some SID and straight line quilting- tear out a little more, like that. Maybe it would make it less painful to break it up?
We're all behind you. I for one, have been there very recently.