I know how you feel Martina...I hate buying and wearing bathing suits. I feel so exposed!! I'm at the point with my kids where I don't have to go into the water, so when we go to the pool, I just sit or lounge...my son always asks why I don't come in. I hate public pools - the volume of urine in there alone is too much for me to stand - we belong to a nice neighborhood pool, but it's full of kids!!
You know its funny too. I lost a lot of weight a couple years ago and I'm the size I always wanted to be. I still look like crap in a bathing suit. It seems to me that it's just not meant to be unless you are an athlete or a model...