cjomamma, you can't tell him you are beautifying the patio? (Decorate your pots so they don't look so bad. My daughter loved to paint clay pots with decorations. PM me if you don't know how.) We plant herbs in our flowerbeds by the front door and they look a whole lot nicer than some of the scraggly flowers a few of my neighbors are trying. We also grow some things in nicer pots out front. Our neighbors are always talking about how nice the flower Beds look. I always want to laugh because the only reason some of the flowers are planted around the edges are because they are "deer resistant" (hah!, suckers will eat anything that doesn't get them first). Oh yeah, and the swallowtail butterflies are using the parsley and dill to lay eggs. The caterpillers are pigs, but the trade off is great (encouraging pollinators into the garden).
You could try small, grow some herbs in your windowsill and go from there. You might look to see if there is a community garden project in your neighborhood. If there's not, maybe go to the city council and recommend they start one. Everyone benefits with things like this. We can never use all that we grow and tell neighbors to come harvest what they need of the herbs. Maybe your apt. manager hasn't been shown pictures of really gorgeous landscaping that is edible. He might be willing to let you try it somewhere obscure if you promise to tend to it. There is a program in Austin that started doing that with a grant (I think. PM me if you are interested and I'll try to find the information and send it to you. I know there used to be grants available to communities who start community gardens and have ideas and programs already put together to make it as easy as possible for people to start. All it takes to grow something useful is a 6 inch pot and a window. Oh, yeah, and my husband. I have the botanical know-how but a black thumb. I swear he can grow something from planting a broom handle in the ground.) Hope this gives you some ideas. Everyone should be able to garden if they want to.