I'm new but not to sewing. I think that I must have invented the Zen of Sewing. Bond with your seam ripper, it is your best friend (mine's name is Jack), seams are meant to be broken, etc. I just chant while I rip. Sometimes it helps. I rip a lot because I'm picky.
Seriously though, there are a lot of different styles of rippers on the market. I found that the one supplied with my sewing machine wasn't pointy enough to really get the smaller stitches easily. There are others. I even broke down and bought a Gingher seam ripper off e-bay. One for me and one for my daughter. I cracked the jeweler up when I had our names engraved on them. I didn't want that one walking away. :D