Hi Bev, Oh that is such a hard thing to go through. But we have no other choice. The first thing you've already done- gotten it out to the universe. That's a very good start. You can talk to us, another person you feel comfortable with, write your thoughts down, join a bereavement group, etc. These are just a few ideas.
When my Dad died my neighbor had some great stuff to read about loss, as he had recently lost his Mom and was grieving her. It helped me a lot. I think he got it from one of those groups. Get those feelings out somehow, no matter what, in the way that works for you. We are all different but keeping emotions bottled up is not usually the way to go. If church helps you that's another avenue.
You can PM me anytime. BIG HUGS, Sue
So sorry.