I don't think it matters what I do, my quilts are gonna get the crinkled look because I'm too lazy to do any special washing and drying on them. I have a front load so the gentle cycle is really gentle, but I'm gonna throw everything I wash in the dryer to at least partially dry. So my quilts are destined for the crinkled look like it or not. :)
In all honesty though, when I finish a quilt I'm always hesitant to wash it because I think I'm not going to like it as well after it becomes crinkled. Thus far I've liked each one even more after they've been washed. But I do the same worrying over it everytime still. :)