Thank you for such a touching story. Sometimes older people get grumpy but I don't think they mean it. Often they say what they want and don't care what others think and may not word it carefully.
I am sure this is the case here. Maybe if and when you send her a quilt, she will crochet a blanket for your husband. Maybe she doesn't even realize that she did??? Probably no way to know.
God's love covers a lot and so are you for deciding to make the quilt for her. You are a good person.