I know, I know, but if I have to think that much about food of all things, I would rather not have any. I know I am crazy and I get mad at the food and my body and it is just nuts. So my nutritionist gave me a plate out of the cafeteria. It has 3 sections. 1/2 of the plate is one section. The other 2 are 1/4 sections. 1/4 of my plate is for protein, 1/4 is for grains/carbs and the 1/2 is for vegetables salad or what ever is from my free list.
This I can handle. I don't take it personally and I am sure I could lose faster if I did it with a scale and measuring cup, but I have to do that which doesn't make me crazy.
My relationship with food is all tied up in my self worth, emotions, values, feelings, etc. It is good I am in counseling. It is good that I am eating again. Someday, I hope that I don't have to focus on this so much, but for now I am doing my best.