It is all about knowing (or finding out) who will really appreciate your work.
I have to admit that despite being a quilter and knowing the amount of work in handmade items I still prefer store bought gifts (electronics & jewelry, please, LOL!). Up to the 90's Ireland was still a relatively poor place, and handmade gifts were something that we gave and received because we didn't have much money to buy something nice. I still have that mindset to some extent, although one wall hanging I was given which was specifically tailored to my colours and "likes" has pride of place in my computer room.
So when I give a quilt I always say that I won't be the least bit offended if they use it at the beach, hand it on to someone else or drop it into the local charity shop. What happens after I give it doesn't bother me since I usually choose to make a specific quilt because I want to try a pattern or technique, and I've accomplished that when the quilt is done. If I think it's really good I tend to keep it, when they're piled up too high I get the extended family and friends in to pick out whatever ones they want (if any).
My mum was hanging on to two lap quilts that she never used (she prefers the wool rug my dh gave her) just to avoid hurting my feelings! I ended up putting them in her Vincent de Paul donation box myself and I could see how relieved she was to have them gone without me being upset.