Originally Posted by quiltinNsmilin
I live in Florida and most of my family is RI and MA. It's sad that there are a lot of people who don't appreciate the love, the thought, the time and the money it costs to make such a unique
gift. I always think of my lap quilts as long-distance hugs. Several years ago my SIL's mother was quite ill. I made her a lap quilt.
The 24 squares had all different machine embroidered 4 inch butterflies and the quilt was latticed, bordered & backed with a gorgeous butterfly fabric. Georgie, the Mom absolutely loved. My
SIL called me after Georgie died to say she put the quilt in the coffin with her Mom. I have to say that totally freaked me out. Perhaps I should have seen it as a supreme compliment, but I thought it was weird. Why not keep it as a nice memory? Am I nuts?
No, but you also have to remember the quilt may not have been in as "pristine" condition after the passing as it was when you gave it. And maybe the quilt would remind them of the illness and end-of-life rather than happier times. I think it's rather a huge honor that they buried the quilt with the mother. Perhaps she requested that specifically.
Thankfully the "official" extended family rule is that the adults don't get gifts (of course, we tend to violate that rule, LOL). I make small handmade things for the family (including jam and pickles). The kids are at an age where they prefer cash :)