This has been a most interesting thread. It helps to heal wounds in the heart to be able to talk about it with others who understand. I have been trying to grasp the larger picture of what this might be teaching us. I will speak in first person because it applies to me.
When I give a large expensive gift, do I set up the feeling in the recipient that they somehow owe me for something so great - a debt they can never repay?
Have I set up a situation in a family where everyone has to fulfill my expectations for this gift for the rest of my life in order to make me happy?
Have I given them something that imposes my decorating colors and style on a younger person who would rather not have an older relative decide the decor of their room? (Especially a DIL)
Did I stop and consider that another generation might feel entirely different about "homemade" and not even stop to realize it? Depression prints can mean different things to different generations.
Most importantly, have I set up a situation where I expect someone to build my self-esteem and hope to receive love and appreciation and worst of all, guilt?
With so much time, energy, heart and money invested in our projects, I feel that answering these questions for myself is important. Been there, got the tattered t-shirts. I really appreciate reading all of your experiences, and my heart aches for all the pain. I think it simply boils down to the fact that the joy has to be in the creation. We have a wonderful opportunity for feedback from each other - those who REALLY can appreciate the effort and art. Anything we receive from the recipient is just gravy. Maybe it is part of learning how to love unconditionally.
Now to get back to my three kittens who have just managed to pull everything down from my design board.