I have some errands to run so cannot write a lot, but this is a control issue with MIL (not with me). She hangs on tooth and nail to the fact that her sons hae married and hae children of their own. She is also a hoarder, and my husband dislikes reality TV vehemently but will sit and watch the Hoarding show with googly eyes thinking about what he is doing to do with his mother's stuff. She is also not 'gentle' with kids (has called my niece (other granddaughter) a whiney brat to her face - the girl is 5 and no different than any other kid), but has yet to do that with my daughter; she doesn't like girls much and has said that to me. She has to "buy" the affection and mark it on things. (If she says those things to my daughter, it will not be pretty.)
She is to the point of "counting" days that husband and I spent with my family versus his family. Even family funerals in my family "count" as days. Years ago, when we planned a mother's day lunch for her - and there was a last minute death in my family (beloved grandpa) so the lunch was cancelled - we rescheduled it; she walked in the door, gave me a hug, and told me she was sorry about so and so's death beause she had really been looking forward to her mother's day lunch. (I'm not kidding; you're so flabbergasted when she says these things that you don't know what to say.) Then, in front of everyone, she said that my family was "ahead" with the days and asked how much fun I had visiting my family.