I made a sweet 16 quilt for my daughter last year. I let her pick the focus fabric and I picked other fabrics to go along (her fav colors are purples/bright yellows/bright greens). I picked a pattern I thought she would like - but she picked one she liked better - so I went with what she wanted and she loves it. It turned out to be one of the nicest quilts I've made.
So, yes, try and get them involved in the process if you can!