Love it! You seem like a lot of fun!
"In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'"
IF you do line the toilet seat with toilet paper, PLEASE feed it into the toilet bowl when you are done! That is the only thing you left out - whoever did their business before you did line the toilet seat, overstuffed the toilet with TP, didn't flush and you are doing the pee-pee dance while wondering if the toilet will ever flush...and if it does will it flood the room...and thinking that maybe you should invest in adult pull ups....