I have had first DGS since birth. He is with me most of the time except when his parents remember they have a child and show up. This month Mom has decided she wants him full time and is "getting" a lawyer to get custody. She does this with every new boyfriend to prove "what a good person/mother she is" She has taken him to DR and had him put on ADD meds. He is developementally delayed (they say it is my fault since he stays with me!!)it couldn't have had anything to do with her drinking while pg. He is in Spec Ed because I went to principal and asked for testing. WONDERFUL man who listened and understood my concerns and "worked" within school rights. I have no legal custody rights to DGS but I did throw a fit about school (told them they had to take him and KEEP him) and made them give me power of attny over schooling.(they never went to functions or teacher conf or IEP meetings) Head of county dept of Spec.Ed helped with that. His teacher says 1/3 of her class is being raised by Grands. DGS feels that nobody loves him and he is in the way. Son gets mad and threatens that I will never see him again. I don't react because both of us know he will tire of him within a week and drop him off at the end of the driveway. GS just walks in and says "Mimi I'm home." I have explained to DGS that he is always loved and will have a home with me as long as he can follow our one rule respect/love yourself/others, He is learning to cook and can do his own laundry which HE requested that I not tell his parents or they would make him to cook/clean for them. I have told both parents that they are perfect examples of why animals eat their young! Also told them that they both need to be neutered and never have any more kids.
I know it is heartbreaking but bide your time. Give both stamped evelopes addressed to you that way they can contact you by mail (I use blank miss you cards). Make sure they know phone numbers that they can call in case of emergency. I wrote phone numbers in the inside of each of DGS backpacks where only he and I know where they are. We also have and emergency phrase that only he and I know. He asks me if I have found a certain toy that he was looking for when he left my house. Thankfully we have never used it.
My prayers are with you. Been there, doing that.