My s-i-l moved my dd and two granddaughters half way across the country but when I refused to send money to help support them, he gave up and moved back home after only two years. During that time I really missed them. I only sent cards to the GD and DD as I was not permitted to speak to them on the phone if I did not send money. They could open the cards as he did not know if there was money in them or not. I only sent $5.00 for birthdays as I knew he would keep the money. The GD were 3 and 4 when they left and still talk about it and that was 6 years ago. I contacted a attorney and was told it was better to just try to keep peace and the best way to do that was to control the money with this son in law. It is a hard game to play and I have to stay on my toes at all times but the girls are getting older and they see him for who he is now.