Boudreaux suddenly quit drinking, took a bath, quit chasing women, quit his poker games and started laying around. He started cutting the grass around the church, even painted it and was faithful to be first to attend on Sundays! Father Thibodeaux asked him what about dis wonderful change that had done overtook him. Boudreaux explained, "I heard 'Crisis in the Gulf' and if He's dat close, I wanna be good to go!"
Special Bulletin from the Pentagon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the "United States Redneck Special Forces".
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.