I had one that sent me every chain letter/mugged in the parking lot hoax that came along. Finally one day I replied in the following manner.
Dear ____,
I'm typing this in the local morgue while waiting for the ME to start my autopsy and sending it as a warning to you to stay away from _________Mall. I was there this morning and while getting out of my car had my Achilles tendon cut by someone hiding under my car. Then another man shoved some perfume under my nose and it was ETHER! When I finally came to I'd been mugged, molested, folded, stapled, mutilated and killed. It seems that everywhere I go this type of thing happens. I received a killer chain letter and when I sent it to ten of my closest friends and they sent it to theirs we each received 472 serial killers. In an effort to prove or disprove all the warning emails I've gotten I've spent the last several years travelling all over the country. There are only four malls and three gas stations left that I haven't been killed at but as soon as I'm done here I'm on my way to check them out.
Please forward this to 900 friends in the next 10 seconds or the men that killed me will show up at your doorstep tomorrow.
Sincerely,
your mangled murdered friend,
Alfreda
She responded with: "Okay, message received." and never sent me anymore of them.