i have always had this same problem, i finally (after years of attempts) stopped even trying to make a potholder that would not burn you...i've tried everyone's suggestions, special this, special that, warm & natural, terry towels, insulbrite,
every pot holder i ever made, looked pretty good but was worthless. so i wish you lots of luck. i know people make them every day...wish i could figure it out, but i moved on, i just go buy them now...