In any dysfunctional family, I think it can be extremely difficult to hit only on the memories that evoke a positive feeling, and not the ones which there is pain attached. It takes a lot of personal knowledge to get that mix just right so that the quilt does it's job, which is to provide comfort. I think if you give her a month, and then ask her to list her 10 most favorite memories about her mom, then you might do a better job at getting that mix right. Give her time to digest the death, because right now she might just be struggling from day to day with survival.