There will always be a wide range of feelings within a family when a death occurs but when it is as you described the scale of feelings from those left behind will hava a much larger range. First of all you must have loved this family in varing degrees or this would not be a problem for you. But as I and others already know, time does seem to set the world in order from losing someone we love. You could do a quilt for your friend but maybe not so heavy on the memory side as the love you feel for her. That would necessitate your adding something reminding her of the loss of a mom but if you use your creative juices you can give something that would be comforting to her and a few months from now it will bring her comfort to see something that reminds her of her mother as well. Having dealt with this kind of death for over twenty years we all know at first one feels absolute hate towards the lost one and progresses to the good and reasonable side afterwards. Grief takes many forms with each person individually, but eventually this lady will grow to understand her mom taking her own life had nothing to do with her. This lady may feel she didn't love her mother enough or this would not have happened. Her love for her mother was not the problem, the illness her mother had was the problem.Depression is a disease in which the person who is suffering through just does not have the ability to understand or equate the pain she will cause someone else because of their own pain which won't go away. My best wishes to you and your caring for a friend who is suffering now and her pain is probably very deep at this time but love from family and friends will guide her back to the right side of her grief where she can feel good for the good times and put away the times that may not have been so good for her. Go ahead with your quilt because you may need to express your grief for your friend as much as your friend may need to know you care. May God bless all of you.