Originally Posted by catrancher
I would go directly to the source and ask. I've had many losses in my life, including the death of a child in infancy. In my experience, people want to talk about their loss and their grief, but most people are so afraid of offending or of upsetting them (as if they aren't already upset), that they avoid bringing up the issue. This leaves the grieving person feeling alone and isolated.
You can simply ask her if she would like to talk about it, and if so, ask the question then. Give her some time to think about it and then respect her wishes.
When my daughter died, someone asked me if I would like a sampler with her birthdate, weight, etc. I told her, no, because I wanted to do that myself. But it was the kindest thing anyone said to me during that time. She was not a close friend, only an acquaintance, but she did the right thing.
People will tell us what they need. All we need to do is ask. If they cry, it's really okay. They're doing that anyway, and they are stronger than we think they are.
Catrancher, I'm sorry for the loss of your daughter. There's now pain like the loss of a child.
We lost a beautiful 19-year-old daughter to a car accident, and for a long time, I could not bring myself to part with some of her things...the time had to be right for ME to let go. One thing now I want to do in her memory is put together the Care Bears alphabet she had cross-stitched. Since there are 26 blocks the quilt will need 4 more blocks to even it up, so I'm going to cross-stitch them commemorating that she had done the work and that it is quilted in memory by her mother (me).
My thought and prayers to all on this board who has lost a loved one.