I am so sorry for your loss. I am stunned about someone losing her son. It is so horrible, the English language doesn't even have a word for it!
My healthy, brilliant son, aged 25, is mentally ill and it is a loss every day, not to have him "with" us. He functions, calls, works, but he is not "himself," but an angry, deluded, sometimes dangerous, stranger. He is one of those "street angels, home devils." I miss him.
Send your quilts, cards, photos, hopes and dreams, and never stop, till that first shovel-ful of dirt hits you in the face.