I am so sorry that this happened to you. I am one that pre-washes everything for importnat projects. I do not like the shrunken look at all, some people do. Is it quilted ior tied? If it is tied , untie it and used a different batting that has been preshrunk. If it is just a horrible mess and you can't deal with it at this time, make a very nice gift certificate for a quilt and give it to her in a nicely wrapped box. You could include something small that you have made in the box, like potholders or a tot bag.