I know what you mean. We give our sons money to buy their gift but then I get them back to wrap and they can't have them until Christmas. They get what they want. I usually find a couple surprises for them too..ages...21 and 25! DH...cooking stuff...no sewing there! Me..I ask for Gift cards and usually buy something from two of the QS in my area. Estranged from DH family and don't do anyting with my brother's family any more. They live out of state so no pressure to clean, cook, wrap, shop, etc. Easy holidays.