I totally agree. make the quilt. I would try and get it done either before thanksgiving or before christmas. I don't know how soon the funeral is or how much you get to quilt. but if you can make it for the funeral you might want to do that and then give it to the mom as a hug quilt. I made one for my SIL step-dad when her mom passed suddenly. She passed the day before Halloween. I would also do it in her favorite colors and let them know that you had wanted her to have it. You might even think about getting DS to help you with the quilt in some way. it might help him threw some of his grief. Guys a lot of the time want something that they can do to work through their emotions and this will let him know that you care and are there for him. I don't know if they are religious or not but if they are you might want to include some sort of scripture in the quilt somewhere. I am a newbie also and I am really glad that I had a quilt top mostly done that I could use for the comfort quilt that I made. this is a link to the only that I made. hope that this helps you.
http://www.quiltingboard.com/t-74179-1.htm