When I give a quilt I hope is is used even if it is abused. When my DD laid on the couch for a year recovering from not 1 but 5 surgeries the quilt she was wapped in not only cuddled her it was abused. She was only able to touch fleece and flannel from the the nerve damage her injury casues. I needed a flannel quilt ASAP, it was made within a few days and tied it since I only hand quilt and it had to be done. The only time it was not cuddled was when she was at the doctors. I had a window of 2 hours to wash and dry the quilt. It was draged on the floor from the bedroom to the couch. There was pasta sauce and soup along with vomit all on the quilt. As I said she HAD to have her quilt. The vomit and food got spot cleaned until the next doc appointment so it could be wash. The appointments were 2 days a week so it wasn't like it was totally filthy. A few months ago Maryjane and her quilting group sent DD a small quilt, she loves it and cuddles it while laying on the couch. The flannel quilt is still folded for her to use as the weather is getting cold however it is stained and can not be cleaned but it was much loved and much used. You would never know it is 1 year old but the comfort it gave her was all that mattered. I am sure after her next up coming surgeries it will go through the same abuse. I realized life is short when you give something to someone it is NOT suppose to come with instruction they should do with it as they please. If people have problems with what is done with a gifted quilt then prehaps they shouldn't give their quilts as gift. Or is it that the people who don't want their quilts used/abused are just control freaks and no matter what a person would do with a gifted quilt the giver would not approve.
Once you give it is no longer yours to have any say in how it is used, stored, folded, washed or anything else. You wouldn't do that is the gift was a sweater OR WOULD YOU???? why do it for a quilt, just because you made it? That was your choice to make the quilt but not to dictate how it is used. Babies don't come with instructions why should your quilt????