I'm so sorry that you have to experience this....I'm sure it is like when I walk into an auto parts store, or even worse, the local store that sells chainsaws. Because I'm relatively petite and appear to be somewhat of a girly-girl, they think I couldn't possibly know anything about anything mechanical.
However, it isn't just about gender. Sometimes it is just the occasional secret society of quilters clique that is present in some quilt shops. And until they get to recognize you, through purchases or participating in classes, they are not really very friendly or helpful. Even to us girls.
That being said....take a class and they will learn that you are a serious quilter, and not just trolling for women who can sew (LOL). You can also go to the User List on this page and do a search by location. There are over 75 quilters in Indiana, some of them men.
However, as one of the other responders said earlier, please ask here. You will get all sorts of help!
Hang in there! We're glad you're here!