The year I lost my brother I wanted in the worst way to leave the area. My family as I knew it was gone- the siblings and parents are irretrievably broken. But my kids are why I stayed. I scaled down tremendously the decorations, food, etc. We have always had a budget and stuck to it so it isn't a discomfort when the bills arrive in January (I really want those reward points!) I still don't like Christmas 5 years later but I deal with it. I now have grands and even though I still have disappointments I suck it up for them. Christmas is just "different"- not a Hallmark movie by any means, but I'm used to it.
I'm waiting for the grands to get big enough to tell their parents they want to play with me- so I can do crafts again and bake and decorate. Then the house will be alive. I can wait...