Originally Posted by Melinda in Tulsa
I guess I'm the real scrouge in the bunch. I do not enjoy Christmas, in fact I hardily dislike it. 20 years ago I suffered a devastating loss on Christmas Day. Ever since then, I just can not get into Christmas. Early Dec each year I sink into a depression that I just can not pull myself out of until after the holidays. My wonderful DH understands this and humors me and supports me thru this time.
My children (all grown) just do not understand. I only give gifts to the grandchildren (now I have 2 of them) and I resent the time and money spent there as it is NOT appreciated. I don't decorate, or do anything extra. Sorry to be a party pooper friends. I have finally realized that this sadness will never go away, since it has been 20 years and shows no sign of abating.
But I cheer all of you on that enjoy this time of year!
:thumbup: Have a very Merry and enjoyable Christmas!
I am so sorry Melinda - I too suffered a loss around xmas just fives years back-wasnt on christmas day but close enough. I like you cant get into the spirit a whole lot but what helps me through is that I know my brother loved christmas and would not want me to ruin it for myself or anyone around me. I dont decorate because we do what christmas we do elsewhere now. Used to do it here when mom & dad were here and enjoyed every minute of it!!! Then we would go out of town to my brothers and do it up large with food presents and just a great time-His wifes family came at the same time so the house was filled to the brim. Loved it!!! She still has a big xmas bash with her family but ours is getting too very small so none of us go (actually I did go a couple of times after he passed but I really havent been back since I got the dates mixed up one year!!) My SIL hasnt let me know when they have it since - oh well. It wasnt the same anyway!!
We have now made our own traditions-we go for breakfast at my daughters to watch all the grandkids open presents. I have 6 grandkids so I try to be upbeat as possible - it really helps being around those who love you.
We still go to MIL xmas eve - been married 31 years and havent missed one yet!! Of course now I do the major cooking and take it there and my 2 girls pitch in where they can. We always say this is her last year shes 81 now but she just keeps on trucking - she is my rock even though she doesnt remember anything from the present and tells all the stories of when she was younger-we just listen for the 1000th time-we take turns ocassionally because we can stand behind her and recite the story by heart right along with her!!! not funny to you guys but we have to laugh keeps us going. Its sad to see her going downhill.
We put a tree up this year only because our grandkids and daughter are living with us. They help us tremendously.
So try a little each year to find at least one happy moment and hang on to it for next year - maybe as the years go by you will have enough built up so you wont be so depressed. Please start this year !!! Not fair to you and family nor to the memory of your loved one. pm me if you want to talk take care and happy holidays cheryl