I am so sorry for your loss. I use to think it's just a dog and they can be replaced. Until I got my Shit Zu,Abbey. I almost lost her on a trip to Texas. Never having an inside dog I didn't know that her excitment would cause her blood to become so thick that her heart was having to pump. $1500.00 dollars later she had plattelets transfused and she is still with us four years later. It took having Abbey to realize that they are family. Always there for comfort when things are not going well and wagging there tails when you come home from beig out. Never complains. So I know this will be difficult especially since it is around the hoildays. I'll keep you in prayer.Yes, God knows how we feel.